The Fullness of Time

“But when the time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those under the law, that we might receive the full rights of sons.” Galatians 4:4-5

One day, a couple of months ago I was out walking, trying to squeeze in my daily exercise necessary to keep me well balanced in body, mind, and spirit. I was approximately 26 weeks pregnant at the time and acutely aware of anything that might be amiss with the young life I was forming. About half way through my walk I began to experience extreme discomfort and cramping. Naturally the first thing that raced to mind was that something was wrong with the baby. Everything in me screamed out, “NO! IT’S NOT TIME!” Shortly thereafter I ruled that idea out as I realized the source of pain came from elsewhere and eventually subsided. But in that brief moment of panic a phrase jumped to the forefront of my mind, “the fullness of time.” I was not sure why that phrase in particular came to mind and so I pondered it in my heart for several weeks, allowing the phrase to form into a fully developed thought.

Several years ago my precious niece was born at 25 weeks gestation and I recall the extreme measures and challenges my sister faced as they struggled to bring this young life into viability and maturity. The thoughts of that experience ran through my mind as I faced the reality of giving birth prematurely. Numerous months in the NICU, accompanied by various surgeries, and the unforgiving element of time finally led to a healthy and flourishing young girl. I thought of all the grief that could have been avoided had she only been able to wait a few additional weeks in utero to reach full development.

As I mulled over this following my small 26 week scare, I gradually realized the similarities between God’s desire to birth within us and man’s frequent attempts to prioritize his own timing before God’s timing. All too often we fail to realize that God knows exactly when “the fullness of time” is to be reached and we surge ahead unawares of the dangers presented by our impatience and recklessness to birth before it is time. (I am not speaking here of “birthing” in a salvation sense but of all projects, ministries, and works God attempts to bring to fruition within us.) We think to ourselves, “I am ready. I am viable. I can do this on my own.” We know that God has a plan in mind but we lack the patience to allow Him to bring it to “full term”. In our inability to be sensitive to His Spirit’s timing we birth prematurely and immaturely into existence a work that God must then mend into a state of survivability. We then question God and His plans when all along He is saying to us, “But you did not wait for MY timing.” You see, it is possible to be in tune with WHAT God has in store for us but far too often we lose sight of the WHEN of God’s plan.

We must remember that within God’s plan “the fullness of time” is always His desire and we must wait for that most perfect time. It is easy to mistake the signs of labor as they will often phase in and out as a warning of the approaching event, but I exhort you to wait through those times. There will arrive an unmistakable moment when the Spirit of God will overwhelm you with the undeniable urge to “push” forward with all your might. It is at that moment that you will know: THIS is the fullness of HIS time. May we be people who birth maturely for God; trusting in His omniscience, and waiting on His timing.

The Virtuous Woman

(For all those women who have read the description of the Proverbs 31 woman and been incredibly frustrated... this is for you.)
Last year as I was working on my book about the feminine side of God I encountered the virtuous woman of Proverbs 31 in an all new light. As I delved into this woman’s character I realized she was not who I had traditionally understood her to be, but was so much more. Since I was writing a book about femininity using the entirety of Scripture I did not have as much time as I would have liked to expound on the virtuous woman directly. The last several months the women of my church have been going through a study on the women of the Bible and one of the chapters is dedicated entirely to the virtuous woman of Proverbs 31. This week we finally arrived at her chapter and I must admit the emptiness of her presentation greatly annoyed me. And so I am compelled to write more about her since I believe we have sorely misunderstood who this woman is and who her image impacts.

My first question, which was not adequately answered was, “Why include this description at all?” The study explained it as a means for women to understand what is desirable to God in a woman and secondly what a man should look for in finding a wife. Both those reasons I happen to agree with but they do not go deep enough and do not answer the most important question – Why? Why does God desire for woman to carry these characteristics? The answer was simple for me in light of the writings I felt inspired to write last year but I have never heard anyone else say them. I will start answering the question by asking a question. In all the history of mankind have you ever seen or known God to exalt or honor characteristics that are not first and foremost His own? The answer is – no! So we must conclude firstly that these are characteristics of God and secondly that they were the motivation behind His design of Eve when He created her in His image in the beginning. With this understanding we must now define these characteristics and search Scripture for their direct application to God. Fortunately we do not have very far to go since King Solomon wrote extensively about the feminine side of God and we find most of it in Proverbs. What I have put together in the following chart is a list of the verses concerning the virtuous woman and then compared them to the correlating verses that speak of the same characteristics in God.





The most clarifying component of this chart is the understanding of why this woman is so difficult to attain or become. If God took all of His feminine goodness and invested it into a physical form, this is what she would look like. I believe this was God’s intent when creating Eve but because of our now fallen nature we look a lot more like Folly than we do this woman Wisdom. And that’s the down and dirty truth of it. We sinned and personified Folly. When God scolded Adam for listening to Eve it was not because men should never listen to women. Adam was scolded because he listened to Folly and not Wisdom. Eve spoke out of a fallen nature and therefore spoke Folly. This carries support throughout Proverbs as Wisdom says over and over, “Listen to my words.” Naturally if you listen to the words of Wisdom it is not wrong, and if a woman is properly personifying Wisdom then she is worthy to be listened to. Where the wrong enters the picture is when you lack the discernment to recognize Wisdom from Folly. If you are not aware of whom Folly is you may find her also in Proverbs. Her name in Hebrew is Ivveleth; I call her “Poison Ivy” for short… how appropriate. She mocks and mimics Chokmah, or Wisdom, twisting and corrupting her character.

The question remains: why include these virtues if they are unattainable? Well… at the time this was written, that was the simple truth; these characteristics, although they were God’s standard, were unattainable. But now we have Christ who is born within us and cultivates godly characteristics and virtues in our lives every day. This woman is no longer beyond our reach but she still takes a lot of time and effort to arrive at and one may only find her through Christ. How many times do you read through the various fruits of the Spirit and not stop and think, “Hey, I could definitely use some more ___________”? The virtuous woman of Proverbs 31 is the same concept. We will always be lacking but through Christ we can attain more and more of her character.

Now we come to the question of who her image impacts. The virtuous woman, being a physical reflection of the femininity God possesses, impacts all things feminine. That means she defines me as a physical woman. She defines the emotions (feminine in relation to the masculine mind) of all mankind. She defines the souls (feminine in relation to the masculine heart) of mankind. She defines even the bride – the Church. And so we must look upon this virtuous woman of Proverbs in a slightly different light now. We must analyze how we as a Church are reflecting upon our groom, Jesus Christ. Can we as a Church say we embody all of these characteristics? Do we clothe our family? Do we open our arms to the needy and poor? Are we good stewards and diligent with our resources? Do our actions cause Christ to be well known and respected at the city gates? If we do not, should we not then be focusing with great intent on being a virtuous bride? Is our goal not for the Spirit to look on us and proclaim, “She is ready. It is time for the groom to approach.” and then take our hand and in one voice make that most precious request, “Come, Lord Jesus.”? It bears some thought. The parting question I ask of anyone who would read this is how can you better incorporate these characteristics into not only the femininity you possess whether it is woman, emotion, or soul but also into the femininity of the bride of Christ – His Church?

The Affirmer and The Accuser

Dedicated to my father on this Father's Day 2009.

Disclaimer: If you have any delusions regarding my perfection, read no further... this could shatter that pedestal, otherwise keep reading.

As most people can relate to in their own lives, my past consists of many adventures both good and bad, feats great and small, and tales murky and clear. All these elements add up to one main pursuit in life - my search for identity.

I recall vividly the year when my life assumed purpose in Christ and oddly enough it was well after conversion and many years into adulthood. The initial struggle I fought with narrowed down to this question, "How much of my past must dictate my present identity and overshadow my future?" Obviously one cannot discount the importance of the past in being a schoolteacher to us. After all, the past is the ONLY element of time that carries in it perfect clarity (ie: hindsight is 20/20). And so the purpose of the past must be to teach, so that with the knowledge accumulated from the past we may consummate that knowledge with the wisdom of the present and give birth to understanding in the future.

Taking into account the significance of the past, I was unsure of what to do with the negative elements. Obviously i can learn from them, but must they identify who I am? The answer is, apart from God, yes the past becomes who I am. But a miraculous transformation takes place when one adds God to the equation of life. As the divine nature is born within us and begins to mature and grow in us, God gives to us a most precious gift - His identity and His past. While my physical past continues to teach me, my identity is no longer defined by it but is defined by the Heavenly Father Himself, as He cultivates Christ within me.

And now we enter into the struggle all mankind faces in realizing identity - the age old battle between the Affirmer and the Accuser. This battle recently played itself out in a very real way for me, much to both my joy and dismay.

During a recent trip to visit my family, my father assumed a blessed and divine role bestowed on all fathers - the affirmer. When this role is exercised in the image of God it affirms those around it. Apart from the image of God it takes on a corrupt nature and turns into the role of the accuser - both roles struggle to identify us.

My father offered me words of affirmation; words that praised my role as a wife and how he had seen me change into a woman who honors and respects her husband even in difficult times and circumstances. He praised my role as a mother and my diligence in simultaneously caring for my children and my own health. He praised my maturity as a daughter of God and exhorted me in continuing to offer to others out of that growth. As he spoke these words I heard the words of the Heavenly Father echoing out of them, "This is my daughter, whom I love. In her I am well pleased." (Matt 3:17). At the time, an element of that relationship escaped me. I forgot the nature of the accuser and his habitual appearance following moments of affirmation, to attempt to incapacitate us through whatever means he can grasp onto to attack our divine identity. (Matt 4:1-11).

But come, he did. The accuser (not my father just for clarification) appeared and began his assault in every aspect recently affirmed. He attacked my role as wife, wielding my past at me, pummeling me again and again with it. He attacked my role as a mother and in the final blows attempted to strip even my identity in Christ from me. And then he was gone. As I lay broken, striped, and ashamed on the proverbial floor, I cried out to God, not understanding what I was to do in light of this clear assault on every fiber of my being. Did the accuser have the right to hurl my past at me in an attempt to undo what good work God was doing in me?

A most miraculous encounter ensued at this point. The Ancient of Days reached down through the ages, weaving His way through my past and came to stand over me. His voice echoed from His Word unfolding an all too familiar conversation to me.

"Daughter, where are your accusers?"

I know this conversation...

"They have gone."

"Then neither do I condemn you."

He called me daughter... relief washed over me as I realized my identity in Him was still intact; that the Great Affirmer's words continued to define who I was. My own father's words again rang clearly in my ears, "You are a good wife, a good mother, and a good daughter." The words of the accuser fell dead to the ground, impotent and puny next to the Giver of all that is good.

I do not resent or hate the vessel of the accuser's choosing. My heart feels compassion and sorrow for the hatred harbored that allows the accuser to manipulate him to his purposes. But discernment allows me to separate the two - to hate the accuser but to love the man. If I cannot forgive the man, then do I not perpetuate a cycle of hatred and sin? And so I forgive.

My words are formed to speak to fathers during this week that commemorates the magnificence of fatherhood; to bring awareness to the divine nature within you that reflects the image of God - the role you carry as fathers to offer identity and affirmation. But my words also carry warning to those who would corrupt this precious gift of God in an attempt to identify through accusation. Choose wisely. Whose nature will you reflect? The Affirmer or the Accuser?

The Spirit and Power of Elijah

“And he will go on before the Lord, in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the fathers to their children and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous—to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.” (Luke 1:17) “He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers; or else I will come and strike the land with a curse.” (Malachi 4:6)

What does Elijah have to do with it all? This is the question that started it all off. How may Elijah have performed this function of father to son in his own life? Elijah did not have a son… or did he? This is where I began my embargo on this journey to understand “the spirit and power of Elijah” and how it affects us today and more specifically how it affects my generation and our fathers and someday our sons.

My sensitivity to this issue was piqued in February as I studied the increased focus in our present day on the emerging and next generations. Much emphasis is being placed on the need to release young new leaders (a much needed function within the Church) but little to no emphasis (probably due to its over emphasis in previous generations) on the role of the young and new in relationship to their leaders. My view of God is that He is the absolute figure of balance and so when we flush to either extreme we emphasize characteristics that have the potential to destroy in their imbalance. My preparation of this teaching is therefore to formulate a balanced view of the mentor/mentoree relationship and the beauty of its fullness in prosperity when conducted properly in love.

In this journey we must travel back to the days of King Ahab and the prophet Elijah (1 Kings 19). The point in time we travel to in particular is after Elijah’s tremendous feat in the face of the nation in opposing the prophets of Baal. Following this particular event, Elijah is overcome by fear and runs for his life. Herein lays Elijah’s greatest failure: in the course of giving into a spirit of fear he also succumbs to a spirit of despair and resolves that his life is over. Elijah is under the impression that he is the only living prophet left and that all the others serving God have been killed and yet he desires to give up. What would have happened if Elijah had been allowed to give up at this point in time? Who would carry on the work of the Lord through prophetic ministry? As is typical of despair it often prompts us to entertain selfish thoughts in the extremes of self preservation or total abandon. Elijah’s situation was no different. First he gave in to the extreme of self preservation and ran and then he gave in to total abandon and lay down to die. It is in this moment of weakness that God confronts Elijah with a “simple, silent, and yet strikingly thundering in its implications” phrase: “What are you doing here, Elijah?” What was Elijah doing? The answer is—nothing! Elijah had given up on a hope and a future and was not investing himself into anything. God’s reply—not acceptable! Go anoint a successor, Elisha (and two others while you’re at it) and start planning for a future. Life does not end with you! That is the essence of what God tells Elijah to do.

Anointing a successor has always been a difficult task for mankind to accomplish. To name a successor is a morbid thought. Naming a successor is admitting one’s own mortality and the fact that you will not always be around. But it removes focus from self and begins a process of investing hope in a future. Kings and leaders all throughout history have taken issue with naming a successor. There are of course fears and dangers associated with this function. It puts into motion a particular relational dynamic that is dependent on the compliance of two parties and involvement thereof. One may choose to invest in the future through the anointing of a successor but the appointee having the gift of free will may also choose not to honor in this sense his “father”. History is chalked full of stories involving sons and military coups, overthrowing of powers and all out abuse from those desiring power. Selecting a successor is a step of faith but one that is necessary for the continuation of life—even spiritual life.

Elijah follows God’s advice and arises to anoint his successor. Elijah seeks out Elisha son of Shaphat and casts his mantle onto Elisha. And thus is fulfilled the first portion of the spirit of Elijah, “to turn the hearts of the fathers to their children”. With the simple act of casting his mantle onto his successor Elijah states his faith in a hope and a future and the furthering of life in the spiritual realm as his “father” heart is turned towards a child—his spiritual son--Elisha. But this is only one half of a beautiful and living relationship God created within man. Elisha plays out the second half of this relationship.

The second half of this dynamic within the mentoring relationship has to do with commitment to ones mentor. This is also a task mankind has struggled with throughout history-the development of patience in attaining maturity. Let us leap forward in time to the moment of Elisha’s release (2 Kings 2). All throughout Elijah and Elisha’s time together, Elisha remains devoted to Elijah and his ministry. Towards the end of Elijah’s life he requests that Elisha leave him but Elisha will not and clings lovingly to his “father” to the very end. In the last moments Elijah asks Elisha what he desires out of their relationship before he is taken and Elisha responds, “Let me inherit a double portion of your spirit.” (This was not a request of greed but is a request appropriate with the concept of increasing fruitfulness and multiplication of any relationship. If one is not intent on increasing and multiplying then are they really carrying out God’s continual command, from the moment of creation to the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, to bear fruit?) Elijah responds with this, “Yet if you see me when I am taken from you, it will be yours—otherwise not.” The implications of this statement are great. You see, if Elisha had followed Elijah’s first request to leave him then Elisha would never even have had the opportunity to see Elijah depart let alone receive a double portion of his spirit. The complete release of Elisha into the fullness of his ministry with a double portion of the spirit of Elijah would not happen unless Elisha saw his mentor through to the very moment designated for his “taking up of the mantle”. This is not to say one must wait until a mentor physically dies to see his own ministry start but there is a living and active dynamic in this relationship that is dependent on two parts—one that releases and one that honors and clings into full maturity. As Elisha fulfilled his commitment to Elijah the second portion of the spirit of Elijah was fulfilled, “the hearts of the children (will turn) to their fathers.” As Elijah is taken in a whirlwind we hear a phrase uttered only twice in all of scripture, “My father! My father! The chariots and horsemen of Israel!” (2 Kings 2:12) This phrase finds its second mention at Elisha’s deathbed as the king of Israel looks upon him with complete honor and respect, mourning the loss of so great a man of God and cries out, “My father! My father! The chariots and horsemen of Israel!” (2 Kings 13:14).

In today’s Church we once again find ourselves faced with a silent, still whisper, “What are you doing here?” To hear this question requires great sensitivity to the voice of God. He does not announce it in a great and powerful wind. He does not ask it in a trembling earthquake. He does not inquire of us in a raging inferno but comes to us calmly and quietly—“What are you doing here?” How will you answer such an inquiry? As a father in the faith will you move with purpose into a hope and future through the naming and throwing of your mantle onto a successor? Will your father heart turn towards the preservation of a spiritual future in your children?

If you are a young and upcoming leader will your heart turn in honor and respect towards the fathers, clinging to them until you have reached full maturity and release? Will all of your being cry out in love at the moment of your release, “My father! My father! The chariots and horsemen of Israel!” The success of the spirit and the power of Elijah is dependent on the compliance and fulfillment of both parties in this relationship.

We are faced also with a tragic factor perpetuated by society but not always recognized as so heavily impacting the Church and it is this: In the next several years 90 million “fathers” within our nation are moving into a phase of retirement. This is the baby boomer generation. The magnitude of their presence would not seem so impending if we could in some manner offer them children in increasing measure, but alas that is not possible. You see, 50 million of their children were never born. Over half of the fruitfulness of that generation is missing and so the dynamic of the mentoring relationship is widely offset and imbalanced. This is not to say that the anointing and release of new leaders cannot happen, it is merely to make us aware of the challenges we face. The younger generations have fallen into a category that qualifies as a minority and so we often find it difficult to make our voices heard in our appeal to be released into ministerial fullness. But I strongly believe a solution is available. I move that we pray for a fresh outpouring of the spirit and power of Elijah onto our generation. That in spite of the dysfunction we may have ignorantly perpetuated on our world we be allowed to emerge victorious with a renewed passion between the fathers and the children; that we may once again turn our hearts towards a hope and a future.

Since I do not want to end on a negative note I will give first the consequence of not instituting this dynamic relationship but follow it up with a tremendous word of hope. The consequence states itself in Malachi’s prophesy, “…or else I will come and strike the land with a curse.” (Malachi 4:6) We are in the process of experiencing this curse right now because we did not develop a love for our children or a love for our fathers; we succumbed to a spirit of self preservation instead. Both parties jerked in a relentless game of tug-o-war to see who would prevail and now we suffer the curse on not just physical prosperity but spiritual prosperity. The hope I offer is in this suggestion: the spirit and power of Elijah precedes the coming of the Word of God. If it is truly our desire to see the return of the Word of God both spiritually through renewed understanding and physically in the flesh, then we will take seriously this spirit that perfectly prepares us for the Lord and ushers in that wonderful and blessed presence to our midst.

“Tell me, what can I do for you before I am taken from you?” (2 Kings 2) Fathers cast your mantles!

“As surely as the Lord lives and as you live, I will not leave you…My father! My father!” (2 Kings 2) Sons cling to your fathers in honor and respect!

Off to Anaheim

Naomi and I are off to Anaheim this next week to spend some time with family and friends. The highlight of my week will be to see so many familiar and long missed faces at the Foursquare National Convention/Connection. The highlight of Naomi's week will be to see so many familiar Disney faces. I suppose Disney would be a highlight for me except that they may not let me on many rides (due to being pregnant... maybe I can suck in my belly and trick em'... doubt it) and I'll have to satisfy myself with walking, taking in shows, and guilting everyone else into buying me all you can eat churros and ice cream, mmmmmm. :-) All and all it should be a great time. We'll be returning to Denver Saturday, May 30th. Pray for safe travel!

My Lord's Prayer

The last few weeks at church we have been focusing on Luke chapter 11 and more specifically the Lord's prayer. The first week we studied the prayer itself and then the subsequent weeks we really broke it out into application. Today at church we actually wrote out a heartfelt personal rendition of the prayer. I would like to encourage anyone and everyone to try this exercise. With that said, here is my heart in the Lord's prayer:

"Our Heavenly Father, my head, my source, my creator, my authority, my stability, You who have begotten Christ in me; holy, righteous, unblemished, just and worthy of all praise is Your awe-inspiring and all powerful Name.

"May Your governing, comforting, and life-giving kingdom gain influence and power in our fallen earth so that we may come to know more intimately the perfect will You exercise in heaven. Bring Your purposes into our lives so that we may be instruments in ushering in the vast dimensions of Your reign more fully.

"Within this framework may I define my priorities and needs for today. May You infuse with passion those needs that contribute to my living and serving Your kingdom and may I have the strength to overcome and differentiate between what I truly need and what I merely desire. Provide for my needs today in the same manner a father would provide for, clothe, feed, and comfort those that belong to him; not desiring that any of his offspring go without or suffer unnecessarily.

"Search my heart, O God. Reveal to me through the conviction of Your Holy Spirit any sin that is within me. I confess this corruption in the divine nature You are attempting to form in me and I pray that You would cleanse and purge this unsightly blemish from my life. Through the power of the blood of Jesus Christ I ask for forgiveness for these sins. Refine me, O God, for Your intents and purposes.

"May I not then be hypocritical in my actions. May I display to others the character of Jesus Christ in forgiving them any wrong done to me just as You have forgiven me even though I was undeserving. May the effect You have on me emanate onto others.

"Help me to discern Your paths for my life, not stumbling in the wrong directions. Help me by the power of Your Word to overcome and pass by all temptations that may beset me along the way. Lead me past those temptations, O Father, and do not let me fall into them."

Go ahead and give it a try! I hope you end up being as blessed as I was by this endeavor in personalizing my relationship and communication with my Father.

Random Events... Sleep Walking, Sprained Feet, and Arrests!

Tuesday night of this week I was busy making dinner and watching the news when a tidbit of information irked me out of my wits. Drew Peterson was signing on for a reality TV show! What?! I wasn't sure whether to laugh or throw up. What man in his right mind would use his notoriety as most famous suspected wife killer to increase his social status and wealth? It made my stomach turn with disgust. The feeling didn't go away and so I just began to pray about the situation. I didn't pray for some misfortune to come to him; I just prayed that I would find peace of mind in the midst of this and that God would begin to reveal the truth of the situation. I prayed for truth above all else to prevail so that I could be at ease (not that I intended to watch his reality TV debut but just knowing he was innocent might make it easier to come to grips with). When the news announced yesterday that an arrest and indictment had been made I cannot adequately put into words the relief I felt. The relief wasn't so much for his demise but for resolution on an issue that had long been plaguing the wives of our nation. I will continue to pray for truth on this matter. I wouldn't want someone to be falsely convicted if they didn't do anything wrong but if these women were wronged then everything inside of me cries out for justice to be served.



In other news, Naomi went for a stroll the other night... in her sleep. She went all the way downstairs to the living room, turned on the TV, laid down on the couch and just kept right on snoozing. About 1:30 am she woke up and hollered up to me... 'Mom, I'm downstairs... how'd I get down here?' Of course I panicked since I had no idea what she was doing in the living room in the middle of the night and went racing to the rescue. Half asleep and stumbling I hit the first step a little over zealous and slipped right past landing on my rump... and foot. Ouch! Well we got everything settled and back in bed, foot throbbing and all and I tried to sleep off the pain. The next day I took one look at my foot and thought for sure it was done for. It looked like a puffy purple marshmallow. After 3 xrays and more lead aprons than any one person could possibly walk under, they informed me it was not broken but badly sprained and to give it a rest for a few days. Whew... I'll take sprained over broken any day.


What to expect in an upcoming blog... an assessment of "A Theology for the Social Gospel" by Walter Rauschenbushch. I started reading this book along with another commentary on the social gospel and am learning quite a bit about that entire movement. There are many good points made but also much a disagree with. I'm sure everyone who knows me saw that coming... it's not that I want to be disagreeable but I am a very holistic thinker and if I step back and look at a picture and there are pieces that do not fit together then I must assume that I have inaccurately placed some pieces. Fortunately I don't throw the puzzle away when that happens; I simply attempt to find the errors and fix the puzzle.

Well that's about it as far as new events go this week. More updating to come soon!

The Busy Little Bee is Busy Indeed...

I realized today that I have not updated my blog in over a month. Good grief, time flies when you're having fun! And while some may not think what I have been doing is fun, I assure you... it is fun to me!

Over the past month I have engrossed myself in a different outlook on the book of Revelation. I have studied the futurist view, that we are yet awaiting all of this to happen and am familiar with what to expect should Revelation take on this interpretation of prophecy. So if the futurists are correct - I am ready! I have studied the preterist view, that the majority of this has already occurred and we await the final step of a resurrection. If preterists are correct - I am ready! But then I began to think - oh boy, here it comes - what if they are both right?! What if, the events of Revelation are a heavenly perspective on the history of the earth from its origins to its end? Since the earth is still ticking then one may assume that the film rolling through Revelation of course is not over but what if events were so gradual to progress that we cannot see its development unless we step back and gaze at the world from a holistic point of view? And so this is what I have been busy doing the past month and it has been amazing.

Why am I doing this, one may ask? First of all... because I can and I have all the time in the world to do it. Secondly, because even if I am way off base I am still becoming intimately involved in the story of Revelation and familiar with its contents. Did you know there is a blessing for just reading the book? How many of us could use more blessing in our lives? Can I hear an AMEN?! And the last reason is this: the more I investigated the possibility of this outlook the more I realized its feasibility.

So the point behind the development of this idea is not to proclaim that this is the absolute truth but to prepare individuals if perchance Revelation takes on yet another form. I want to be ready and able to identify what is going on in the world, and if I am locked into a preconceived notion of what will be then I may miss it all together. And for those who do not think that possible just look at what happened at Jesus' first coming. Everyone around Jesus had a preconceived notion of what the Messiah was going to accomplish when he came into the world. This preconceived notion blinded them to who he was until he had fulfilled and completed his purpose. And THEN Jesus opened their eyes to what and who he truly was. I do not want preconceived notions of prophecy to cloud my ability to see what is really going on either!

I do not want to prematurely spill the beans on all the details but the rough overview of what I am doing is this:

7 Seals = the development and enactment of God's plan for redemption that was necessary for man following the Fall. This plan is accompanied by the consequences of sin and death that must beset a world ruled by sin.

7 Trumpets = the announcement and strategic/tactical/psychological implementation of bringing the Word into Flesh beginning with the covenant of the Law. While the Law provided a level of redemption and sealed God's people it was not the fulfillment. This step is accompanied by not only the consequences of sin (opened in the seals) but the consequences of breaking God's Law.

7 Bowls = the execution of God's final judgment on the earth due to the combination of the consequences of sin (opened in the seals), the consequences of breaking God's Law (announced in the trumpets) and ending in the consequences of rejecting God's only begotten Son - the only true chance we have at life.

And that sums up what I am doing - combining past, present, and future ("what you have seen, what is now and what will take place later" - Rev 1:19) for a bigger look at Revelation. Fun fun!

Call me crazy... I might just be by the time I get done with this whole study.

The Letter, the Spirit, and the Life of the Law

The mystery of the Trinity is a thing of beauty to me. I could spend hours thinking on only that. That may seem odd to some but I believe that God places certain sensitivities on the heart of each person – this just happens to be the area of my sensitivity. This sensitivity alters my perspective in the Word in that throughout all of Scripture the Trinity radiates with their oneness and perfection in practically every passage. Recently as I meditated on the concept of the Law the Trinity too emerged from this age old institution.

Psalm 119:18-20 “Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in your law. I am a stranger on earth; do not hide your commands from me. My soul is consumed with longing for your laws at all times.”

What initially peaked my interest in this topic of the Law were Paul’s words to the Corinthians. “He has made us competent ministers of a new covenant – not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life” (2 Cor. 3:6). This verse confounded me because I never viewed anything that emitted from the mouth of God as bringing death. But here, this verse clearly stated that the letter killed. But was not the letter part of the Law? And did not King David and King Solomon so eloquently speak in the Spirit concerning the life giving aspects of the Law?

Proverbs 7:2 “Keep my commands and you will live; guard my teachings as the apple of your eye.”

Proverbs 6:23 “For these commands are a lamp, this teaching is a light, and the corrections of discipline are the way to life.”

Psalm 1:2 “But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night.”

And then it occurred to me, as it always does when meditating on the oneness of the Trinity, how empty they become when one attempts to remove any aspect of God’s existence in His three persons. I thought of what God would look like to me were He only the Father, with no Spirit and no Son and the thought frightened me to my very core. How cold, alone, and dispassionate He would become. But this is not my God. Since my view of the Trinity entails the view of the Father as the source and head then any attempt to see God without this person would simply become ethereal and unsubstantial. Therefore I cannot analyze the Spirit and Son alone because without the Father they disappear. As I looked at and thought on the Law it began to shift apart into three aspects of ‘letter’, ‘spirit’, and ‘life’. If the letter is the Father without the Spirit and the Son then the Law would become cold, lonely and ineffective, devoid of life. But I do believe the letter reflects the Father in its precision, detail, and authority. The spirit of the Law reflects the person of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit gives birth and breathes power into the detail and authority of the Father to produce the absolute miracle of life – the Son – the fullness of Christ. The Son therefore reflects the life of the Law; the life that revives our very souls.

Psalm 19:7-9 “The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul. The statutes of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the Lord are radiant, giving light to the eyes. The fear of the Lord is pure, enduring forever. The ordinances of the Lord are sure and altogether righteous.”

To view the law without the magnificence of the letter and to attempt only to view the spirit of the law leaves the law without foundation and support. The law becomes fluid and ethereal, without substance and man leaves himself with no choice but to resort to lawlessness. And so without the letter, the law disappears. But this is not how my God operates either. He is three in one; therefore He is absolutely full of life.

To focus on any one aspect of the Law without its counterparts is to strip it of its very essence and life. This is what the Pharisees and teachers of Jesus day had succeeded in doing to the Law. They had stripped the Spirit from the image of God and focused only on the letter, and it was killing them; they had killed the life of the Law. Today we tend to flush to the farther extreme in that we do not recognize the authority and commanding representation of God’s law and we loosely and liberally apply all His statutes, focusing only on the Spirit. We operate without substance and support, basing all our decisions and passions on the fluidity of emotion and it has turned us lawless.

Psalm 119:136 “Streams of tears flow from my eyes, for your law is not obeyed.”

And so what do we do? We must focus on the life of the Law – the Son – the fullness of Christ. For in focusing our efforts and attentions on Him we are forced to take into account both the letter and the spirit of the law. You see, without both the letter and the spirit intimately entwined in a dance of life, the Son does not exist. When our focus turns to the Son, the image of God radiates a fullness and cohesion not possible by any other means. The Law becomes alive; leaping off the pages of text and imprinting itself on our minds, infusing the very life of God into our beings. The covenant of the Old Testament transforms into the covenantal relationship of the New Testament.

What is the Law? It is letter (Father). It is spirit (Holy Spirit). It is LIFE (the Son of God)!

A Time of Rest

There have been many changes for me this year. Damian is on assignment in Korea for the year. Naomi is finishing up Kindergarten and getting ready for her first full days of school in 1st grade. And we are expecting a new addition to the family come October. The pressures of the many upcoming events and the lack of my partner physically by my side has led to my reevaluation of my duties and responsibilities this year. I have decided to lay off several of my obligations in order to reassess priorities and figure out what is the best direction for my family.

Other changes have also taken place this year. As some of you know I spent the majority of last year invested in a book writing project on a subject near and dear to my heart - femininity. After submitting my work for a theological evaluation I received my first feedback in that category. The verdict was... the work is "biblically sound". This truly made my heart soar. I do not know what God has planned next but I have a feeling that all too soon I may be busier than I expected. This has also contributed to my decision to take a period of rest and to store up "provisions" for what is to come. So I hope everyone can understand my decision to "take it easy". I am not isolating myself or depressed; in fact it is quite to the contrary. I am excited about whatever it is God has in store. I am enjoying my sojourn through the wilderness because I know that at the end of the long journey is the promised land.

The Evolution of A Snowman

I had a personal epiphany today... and perhaps you may think this elementary but it made me giggle with glee and so I will share it.

It snowed here recently and it has not yet melted, so I am staring at the snow. And I think to myself. Self: If I gather a bucket of snow and set it aside for observation, how long do you think it will take for that bucket of snow to turn into a snowman? (Yes these are the random thoughts of silliness that occur to me on a daily basis.) Self says back to me: That's just silly... that wouldn't happen. And if it did just happen to happen then there's no telling how long that would take. It could very well take billions of years to accomplish by itself. So I say to self, self: What if I take that bucket of snow and make myself a snowman? Pfft... I have that knowledge! It would take me about an hour maybe two. (Two hours if I'm having a nit picky OCD day). Soooo... by itself, the snowman will naturally take a massive amount of time if ever to form, but if I apply even one element of outside force with the required knowledge to accomplish the task it could take an hour? Hah! So I began to think of the beginnings of man. It's not that man could not have evolved... it's simply that he didn't need to. There was an outside force with the required knowledge to form man on His own and so what, to our minds, looks like it would naturally take billions of years, in fact might have only taken a few hours. So both sides, in essence are correct. The difference is in what players are in your equation of life. I choose to maintain a view that a God outside of myself, who has the knowledge to make me, did in fact form me. And so my tiny epiphany of a snowman has taught me a little bit about God today.

The Absence of the Groom

"Jesus answered, 'Can you make the guests of the bridegroom fast while he is with them? But the time will come when the bridegroom will be taken from them; in those days they will fast.'" Luke 5:34-35

This morning I dropped Damian off at the airport. He is heading to Korea for a year assignment while Naomi and I busy ourselves back home in Denver. I thought I would be more emotional than I ended up being. Perhaps it hasn't quite sunk in yet or maybe the two month temporary assignment preceding Christmas helped to numb the pain. But the main aid to processing this separation was a conversation I had with a friend of mine this week. Her husband was leaving on a trip for a week and she was visibly upset by the separation. I started to think about the concept of time and realized that the amount of time you are separated does not really do much to aid through the pain of the actual separation. Absence is absence no matter how long it's for and it is painful. Damian will be gone for a whole year and I thought that time would be overwhelming to think about. But this morning as I was getting Naomi ready for school and myself ready to drop him off I thought of another bride who was separated from her groom and how painful that separation has been and how long it has endured. For two thousand years the bride of Christ has been separated from her groom. All of the sudden my year seemed small and insignificant. But I began to look at the comparison between separations here.

I have options... I can busy myself with tasks and jobs that better the life of my family while he is gone or I can sit and wallow in sadness and depression, staring at the sky and tapping my foot for his return plane to land. The latter is always tempting but I have found that the former gives me purpose and hope.

I definitely have tasks to take care of while he is gone, and those tasks are vital for my family. I have to keep track of bills, feed my daughter, spend time with her, and help her to maintain her relationship with Damian while he is gone. If I remove myself from the equation, then my whole family falls apart. I suppose the same can be said of my role as part of the bride of Christ. I can mope and wallow in sadness, waiting and tapping my foot in idleness while I await His return or I can feed His sheep, spend time with my spiritual family and help others maintain their relationship with the Father. If I remove myself from that equation then the family suffers.

And so my time of separation begins, but I will not be depressed or idle. I will anxiously await his return but I will keep busy and fulfill the functions that help hold my family together. The role of a bride even in times of separation is to maintain the health of her family. Communication becomes more vital than ever before and faithfulness in not forgetting why you are doing it all is essential. My hope lies in dwelling on my future and using that hope to validate the tasks I must accomplish in the present.

Home For The Holidays

The Christmas song "Home For The Holidays" keeps going through my head this week; especially the line about going home to Pennsylvania for some homemade pumpkin pie. It has propelled me to think on this whole concept of home. Growing up overseas, the real idea of home for the holidays is a bit unrealistic, so what does being home for the holidays mean to me?

It seems like most people have this idea of going back to the house they grew up in, and seeing all their old friends and family. Kind of like stepping back in time or popping into a picture, only the characters have aged a bit leaving an odd situation since none of the family dynamics seem to have changed - so you have grown adults acting like children and pulling pranks on each other... really weird. Anyway, back to my main point - we never had a particular house we grew up in or even a somewhat confined location. We were literally all over the world and now continue to be. Each year when it comes time to plan Christmas travel the first question we ask is, "Well, where is everyone this year?" So my concept of being home for the holidays is not tied to a place but to people... and people move... and if you know my personality you know that fluid situations naturally cause me anxiety (a trait I am working on).

But this year was different. My husband's family invited us all for Christmas which was surprisingly relieving for me because I don't relish packing up my things. The traveling I like, packing no. But the source of relief in addition to being with family, was that this is truly my husband's home - Pennsylvania. The place he grew up in, and has memories tied to. So while I have no particular place to call home except where my family moves, there is still comfort in that I can find the stability of home through my husband.

And then my thoughts turned inward. And I began to think of the stability I obtain from God and His unchanging image. I realized that while the fluidity of not having this earth to call home has the tendency to create thoughts of instability for me, the Father's ultimate location, the place His Son prepares for me, has always been my home and the place I long to someday be as well. And that thought brings me great comfort during this season. No matter what this world throws at me, I have a rock and firm foundation to call home.

The Snow is Here!

Hurray! The snow is finally here! I thought it would never come. I can't believe it held out until December. I was starting to get a little nervous. It just doesn't feel much like Christmas in Colorado without loads of snow and the possibility of getting snowed in, missed flights, etc. I was definitely feeling the Christmas spirit as far back as October but carols can only carry you so far without the snow. Anyway... I know I should blog about something more substantial but this is the highlight of my week/month/season and so.. that's it for now. Merry Christmas to all!

Jonah's Heart or God's Heart?

"And God saw their works, that they turned from their evil way; and God revoked His sentence of evil that He had said that He would do to them and He did not do it for He was comforted and eased concerning them. But it displeased Jonah exceedingly and he was very angry. And he prayed to the Lord and said, I pray You, O Lord, is not this just what I said when I was still in my country? That is why I fled to Tarshish, for I knew that You are a gracious God and merciful, slow to anger and of great kindness, and when sinners turn to meet You and meet Your conditions You revoke the sentence of evil against them." (Jonah 3:10-4:2)

I suppose one of the hardest tasks in the body of Christ is to have the gift of a prophet. One becomes privy to the heart of God and relays pleasure or displeasure accordingly so that the body may align itself with God. But the difficulty is this: a prophet is proven true by the accuracy of the outcome in comparison to his words. So what is one to do? On one hand you do not wish to fall in the category of a false prophet and so there is a part of you that wishes to see destruction come to pass. But another part of you pulls the other direction and you almost wish that somehow for some reason you got the message wrong. I believe the gift of a prophet is very real and very active in the present day Church but it serves a very vital function. The gift of prophecy relays to the body the heart of God and how we should pray in order that we may be repentant and see the mercy and compassion of God.

The important thing to remember if you are a prophet is that your words are meant to change people and to bring them into alignment with God. The main goal should always be to bring people to God. This last week I have been moved to read the book of Isaiah. Amidst all the destruction and devastation in Isaiah there is constant mention of a highway that leads the way out of the calamity. A highway that leads to peace and redemption. A prophet is the pavement of this highway. A prophet prepares the way for others to come to the peace which Christ offers.

I would say that a prophet has the best and the worst job of all gifts. They are allowed to see the heart of God, but that vision can bring great sorrow with it. I call on the prophets of our nation to speak the heart of God so that we may know how to pray; that we may repent and see the mercy and compassion of God. But I also hold prophets accountable in that you cannot sit back and wait for your words to come true. You must keep hold of the heart of God and pray that what you see is not what will be.

Now you may be thinking... Debbie... what on earth are you talking about? I am talking about the increasing spirit of defeatism that is attacking the Church right now; the idea that we will suffer some great calamity because we cannot see God's plans. I earnestly believe that prophets who speak doom are called to do so for one reason - so that they will not come to pass. Jonah predicted doom for Ninevah but it did not come to pass because the people heard his words and changed their hearts. That should always be our hope - that the severity of our words would resonate loud enough that the people of God would rise up and say, "Mercy, Heavenly Father!" So do not be afraid to voice the heart of God but always hold hope that forecasts of catastrophe will not come to pass. Do not sit back and await the surmounting storm. Have hope in the fact that God can and has revoked His sentences of evil when He is comforted by our works.

"The Shack" Review

Well all, this is something I have been postponing long enough. I was asked by several people to read the popular work of fiction "The Shack" and give my opinion on its content. I managed to put it off all summer but now I have finally taken on the challenge and read through it. After much highlighting, underlining, and annotation, here it goes.

I will begin with the good. "The Shack" very tactfully addresses the issues of God's compassion and understanding of our suffering because He has similarly experienced levels of this. But now we must evaluate at what cost we came to this truth. Shakespeare phrased it best when he said the following, "And oftentimes to win us to our harm, the instruments of darkness tell us truths; win us with honest trifles, to betray's in deepest consequence."

What I discerned as I read through "The Shack" was that it was devoid of masculinity and all the many roles of masculinity. There is a wondrous and magnificent aspect to God that is embodied in His masculinity. There is also a beautiful, fluid, and empowering aspect of God that is embodied in His femininity. But these two aspects that make up the image of God cannot and do not exist independently. They coexist. In their coexistence they bring forth a level of productivity and abundance that is Christ. When you do not have the masculinity and femininity of God in their fullness you will not see Christ. What do I mean by that?

All throughout the book there was a common theme; an underlying misunderstanding to the point of being hatred towards the concept of authority, rules, institution, order, and structure. These elements are part of the concept that is the masculinity of God. As our understanding in the past of God has taken on a view of total masculinity we can see the dangers in holding to this philosophy with no femininity. We end up being a Church focused on ritual and are devoid of relationship. But there is also another extreme and it is full experiential emphasis on relationship with no structure. To put that into context for you, it is much the mentality of "free love" we faced in the 1960's and 70's. Full femininity with no masculinity will kill just as full masculinity without femininity will also.

The masculine elements of love are wrapped up in the act of giving. The feminine elements of love are wrapped up in the act of receiving. This Trinity I saw portrayed in the book was bent on expressing their experiential elements of receiving but cared not for the magnificence that accompanies the love of authority which is giving. The interpretation of the hierarchy of the Trinity was grotesquely distorted also as the ideal of equality absolved the true design of authority and submission which is vital to the proper functioning of love. The existence of submission does not function without her counterpart that is authority. They are one. However, as the author mentioned at one point we have become preoccupied with authority. That is true; it is an extreme. Authority cannot function without submission. They are ONE! If authority attempts to exist without submission he turns into domination. To suggest that authority is not a part of who God is, is to tear away at His masculinity. The clear and blatant hatred of rules was also without support. The idea that God created us to function without rules is unbiblical. God created Adam in the beginning, male and female and declared him good (i.e. perfect). In man's state as perfect he was given two rules: do not eat of the tree... and be fruitful and multiply. Those are rules. To say that God has no rules, structure, definition, or substance is to attempt to strip away His masculinity.

How can we see if we are stripping away at God's masculinity? We look at our spiritual development. The perpetual state I saw all of the humans in in "The Shack" was a state of spiritual childhood. Spirituality is to work just as our physical growth functions. We are to be born of the Spirit. We are to become as children. And then, we put aside childish things and we become adults. We grow into spiritual adults. In the physical realm, a child will never fully come into adulthood unless a Father figure pulls them up into adulthood through the act of affirmation. Affirmation is a quality of masculinity. When we are trapped in the state of spiritual childhood we have lost sight of the affirmation of the Father and we are refusing to move out of the emotional and experiential comfort of the Mother.

The last part I will mention is the philosophy the author attempted to convey concerning the "ousia" of God; mainly "I am". Here is the problem with his philosophy of "I am" as the author writes it. He emphasizes the need for the verb "am" to bring things to life. He says that nouns in and of themselves are dead without the verb. That is true. But the opposite is also true. Without nouns a verb has nothing to act upon. The verb, action, is the femininity of God. The noun, the substance, solidity and foundation of God is His masculinity. The Hebrew word for "I am" is "Hayah". It means "to exist". The odd thing about it though is that God does not use the infinitive form when He names Himself. He conjugates this verb into 1st person singular "I". "I" is a noun, a pronoun to be exact, but a noun nonetheless. "I" is the substance, foundation, rule, principle, authority, and masculinity of God. "Am" is the life, fluidity, action, submission, and femininity of God. But He is not just "I" a noun, or "am" a verb. He is "I am". He is a noun and a verb. (If you wish to revert to this conversation in the book it is on page 204.) What the author has done, unintentionally I believe, is emphasize the femininity of God in His verb form and strip Him of His masculinity in His noun form. Without your subject - noun, and your predicate - verb, you will never arrive at the fullness of Christ - a sentence; a complete thought.

Unfortunately, and I hate to say this about someone I do not know, but it appears the author may suffer from a form of dysfunction in his understanding of true masculinity and how that is a reflection of the image of God. He has done exactly what he hated in his own writing: "The problem is that many folks try to grasp some sense of who I am by taking the best version of themselves, projecting that to the nth degree, factoring in all the goodness they can perceive, which often isn't much, and then call that God."

What does this all mean for the Church? Nothing if you accept it at face value as fiction. It, however means everything if you accept this man's interpretation of God as truth. In throwing out the underlying masculinity of God, he has pulled out the floor of his faith that rests on the security and safety of God's masculinity. What does that leave us with? A wondrous, experiential, feminine sensation of...flying? No... falling. It may feel like flying for a time, but it is not really. It is an illusion. We will fall and we will spiritually die without our foundation. The proper context for flight is a safe place to land.

I know this is all harsh and some may hate my view on this but I am accountable to those I love to speak truth. And so I speak what I believe is truth. There are a few more notes I have pertaining to the content of the book but these were the loudest issues I felt I needed to speak to. If you would like to comment, then by all means do. If you wish not to comment publically you may email me privately at dbasehore@msn.com.

Ballot Information!!!

The other day I received my 2008 State Ballot Information Booklet which informs me on the various amendments to vote on November 4th. I was not quite sure if I wanted to read through the whole thing and thought maybe I could just get the general gist by looking over the titles of the amendments. But as time wore on I was impacted with a sense of duty to actually read through the amendments and know with certainty why I would mark "yes" or "no" to a particular amendment. Boy am I glad I decided to do that.

I am writing this blog only in order to relay to those who may roll through here that you cannot accurately judge an amendment by its cover. I will give one example in particular just so you know how deceptive the names can be.

The particular legislation that got me fired up was Colorado Amendment 50 - Limited Gaming in Central City, Black Hawk, and Cripple Creek. Now by all appearances, from this name if I desired limits on gaming I would vote yes to this amendment. But this is not the case. This amendment would "allow residents of Central City, Black Hawk, and Cripple Creek to vote to extend casino hours, approve additional games, and increase the maximum single bet limit." Does that sound like limiting gaming? NO! It is definitely about 'Limited Gaming' but its trying to remove limits on gaming. There is a nice, pretty little piece in there about giving proceeds to schools but that hardly makes up for the deceptiveness of the name.

I am against gaming funding anything because it capitalizes on a vice and encourages people to succumb to such vices in the name of 'goodwill'... we're giving proceeds to schools. Whatever... anyway, I do not wish to argue the actual content of the legislation but wish to warn individuals to PLEASE read over the amendments your state is passing and KNOW what they entail, not just what they imply through their names. I am assuming this is the case for many amendments. Be AWARE people! Our future depends on it.

The Importance of Dialogue

This fall I have been taking a writing class that one of my friends is teaching at our church. I have learned a lot about plot and character development over the last few weeks. Most of it was really fun and I found that I adapted well to all the demands for writing samples. But this week I was faced with a unique challenge. We learned about the practice of dialogue.

I expected at first that it would simply come naturally as the developments of the past weeks had for me but I was in for a surprise. We were presented with a scenario and asked to create a dialogue between characters using as much verbal interaction as possible without resorting to narration.

I sat in stunned silence for about 5 minutes while those around me scribbled away at some creative discourse. My mind was blank. Why was this so difficult? I sat there trying to go over any recent discussions I had in the past to try and draw from my interaction in those cases... and then the realization struck me. I rarely talk with people. I more oft than naught talk AT people. I talk AT my husband. I talk AT my daughter. I talk AT God.

So I began to ponder why I do this. Why do I talk AT people and not WITH them. The realization hit me just as harshly. I prefer to talk at people because to talk with them is just too hard. If I relinquish myself to the vulnerability of talking with those close to me then I endanger my sense of self preservation and my feelings are vulnerable too. It is a defense mechanism... but one I was not aware I had or even used. And yet, with God in particular I hardly ever hear Him carrying on a one-sided conversation in the Bible. He talks WITH people. He speaks and they speak back. He listens and sometimes they would listen. Since I am created in the image of God then I too am intended to talk with people and not just at them.

I don't have a solution to the problem yet. But as they say, admittance is the first step; and I admit, I have a problem talking with those I love. So if you are one of the people who I have talked at and not with, I am truly sorry. I will endeavor harder to converse with those around me. Awareness is key, and I am now officially aware!

The Price of Corruption

I've been watching a lot of news lately. At first I wasn't sure exactly what all the economic hubbub was about but I think I am beginning to get a better grasp on things now.

I am a little perturbed about the whole "bailout" business, not because I am personally going to immediately suffer, although I am not delusional enough to expect I will not get hit by it eventually, but because of the social implications of what this bailout means.

I am a "free-market" type person. I believe that hard work should pay off and not carry penalties. The idea of taking from the rich and giving to the poor absolutely infuriates me. I am by no means rich but if someday I work hard enough to find myself in that status I do not want it taken away from me. With that being said, I believe that those who are corrupt in acquiring their wealth incur bad karma and eventually there will be consequence to their corruption. And now we are seeing that the consequence has indeed happened. I feel extreme sadness for our country and those that will suffer unduly because of the greed of others but I believe that also is a price of passivity. We did not stand up when we should have to speak out against corruption and put a stop to it and now we will pay a price for that. There is no vote of "present" for those with integrity, they must actually take a stand and position. Presence with inactivity is in all actuality simply a dolled up term for "accomplice".

What are we an accomplice too? A deception. A deception that we can live beyond our means. A deception that the presence of credit gives us a false sense of security that simply is not real. We rely on credit to make us feel better about our lives. The percentage of our country that actually lives on cash is minuscule but they are the ones who are now sitting in true security while the rest of us are trembling in our boots. We have believed a lie. Credit is not real wealth people! What we have realized this last week is the true impact of what the disappearance of credit would mean to each and every one of us. If that realization entails the idea that one would have nothing left, then they truly do live in bondage to an inescapable slavery. Get away from this false sense of presence and security and begin to truly save and accumulate real money that cannot dissipate simply because your signature on a piece of paper, that by the way may take your soul along with it, has been deemed worthless. If we Americans as a whole had been more diligent with our prosperity, we might not be facing this present crisis. But we have lived a lie and now we will face the consequence of that lie.

This bailout will not allow for any consequences to be suffered, at least not by those who created the problem, but will be felt by those of us who did not stand up when we ought to have. I am against this bailout, because no matter how much it may eventually hurt me, it will hurt those who were corrupt more. If this bailout does occur then I think it is vital that we walk away from this with a lesson well learned and not forget that lesson. We cannot stand for corrupt practices and we must speak out against them, no matter what the cost. Whatever the cost of your voice may be it will never be as great as the consequence we suffer when we do not speak out.

A Sigh of Relief

Well, my week of nail biting anxiety is now over. The much anticipated meeting on Saturday went extremely well. I felt fantastic afterward and very much encouraged. I am curious as to how the content of my book will be received over all but its kind of relieving to know, that there is nothing that can be done about it now. It is out of my hands and in God's hands. In all fairness I never assumed it was in my hands and not God's but I'm sure you get my drift.

I do not expect any formal feedback until November 1st, so in the meantime I can relax... do some much needed work in my house and spend time with my family. For several months now my daughter has been pestering me with things like, "Mom, when are you going to be done with that book?" I can honestly tell her that I am finished (at least for a month) with the book.

My husband has also mentioned a feeling of neglect as I was absorbed in research so I will spending some efforts on him as well. Poor guy. :-( God bless him for putting up with me though. Lessons to learn if I ever write another book: allot my time better! I get so involved in research sometimes that the world around me simply disappears. Hopefully with some more experience I will get better at managing my time so those around me don't suffer as much.

September is flying by and soon October will be here. I can't wait for snow in the mountains. This year I think I might actually make it up there for some snowboarding. I've missed that so much. I didn't get a chance to snowboard last year or the year before and when you live in a gorgeous place like Colorado it's just a shame to waste a whole season like that. Well, that's about it for now on updates.

Wonders Never Cease

Sooo much is going on this week, I don't even know where to begin. I finally finished my book - I know I've said that before but this time I think it's true.

I had certain requirements that needed to be met before I would know my writing was done and those were met this week. I needed to establish contact with a certain someone of well repute who would be willing to read my work and give it a fair theological shake. Well... far beyond any realistic expectations I had... that happened. His office called me this week and set up a lunch meeting next week to discuss my manuscript. I'm still in shock... I had expected more of a "sure, mail it to me and one of my 'underlings' will read it and tell you what I think" if any response at all! If that were the case then I felt a lot less pressure about it all. But that's not how it played out. Now I am actually going to sit down face to face with him and tell him my thoughts on God. I am overwhelmed. I need a LOT of prayer so that I can adequately express myself without feeling intimidated. I don't know why this is the way it worked out. Everything about this would suggest God's hand is at work... imagine that.

Good grief... I'm shaking while I'm trying to type.

The entirety of the time I was writing the book I kept praying that if this person was to evaluate it that God would open the door and speak to his heart, to impress upon him that what I was feeling and writing was important to the body of Christ. I hope that is indeed what has happened. Of course there's the other side of it, that maybe he thinks I'm some crazy woman and a stop must be put to my heretical insanity... ok not really... I'm just being paranoid (insert nervous giggle here).

Anyway... all that to say, please please please pray for me this next week. The meeting is on Saturday, September 20th.

Life in Bloom

My Sunflowers

Pear from my pear tree

The Pear Tree

The Peach Tree

Peach from my peach tree

My Basil Plant

Update On Me

Yikes! It's been way too long since I updated my blog. I've been through a LOT the last two weeks and have not been all that comfortable sitting at the computer and so therefore have not been updating.

Two weeks ago I started experiencing and immense amount of abdominal pain. I wasn't sure what the cause was but the pain was so intense it was causing vomiting and other unpleasantnesses. Finally after ignoring what I thought was some sort of flu bug for 12 hours I decided it was time to go to the hospital. My main concern was for the fetus I found out I was carrying the week prior. Obviously when your body decides it does not want to hold on to fluids it is never a healthy atmosphere for a growing child.

After an MRI and an ultrasound the doctors discovered there was a large mass in my abdomen that was not supposed to be there. They decided to go in after it. They labeled the surgery "exploratory" which was greatly unnerving to me. I didn't like the idea that they were going to put me to sleep and go in to do only God knows what to my innards. But what can you do? The looming fear was something cancerous growing and obviously I would want that removed. My greatest fear was that they would end up somehow needing to remove portions of my reproductive system. And so my greatest prayer was that it would not come to that.

Two days later, post-op, I found out it had been an uncharacteristically large cyst that had ruptured in one of my ovaries. They opened up the ovary, cleaned out the mess, and sowed me back up. (I am hoping they did a better job sowing up the inside than they did on the outside. One look at my staples made me think they had brought in their kindergarten kids and were teaching them how to operate a stapler.) But alas, I am alive and well and am not missing any reproductive parts. I did however lose the pregnancy which was of course disappointing. The most disappointing portion of that being that since I did in fact have my abdomen sliced open I will need to wait for complete healing before trying to get pregnant again - 3-4 months.

But God has been with me through the entire process and has been teaching me many things through the whole ordeal. Being as I am writing a book on femininity this was an immense eye opener to me as I watched my physical femininity flash before my eyes. Bearing life is an enormous part of what it means to be physically feminine and I faced the grief associated with not being able to perform that function any longer and not being able to bring forth life in the physical realm. God has been speaking to me a lot lately about the need to continuously bring forth life in whatever realm you can operate. Spiritually I should be longing to bear fruit. Mentally I should be hungering to bring life to new thoughts. More to come on that, but I am processing many new thoughts and hopefully they too will come to life some day.

Masculinity of the Mind

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart (lebab), and with all your soul (nephesh), and with all your strength." - Deut 6:5.

Lebab: m. mind
Nephesh: f. soul

As most of you know, I am writing a book on femininity and the reflection of that femininity in the image of God. But this has of course spurred curiosity on my part into the masculinity of God and that reflection in man. One of the areas where we recognize masculinity in all mankind is the mind.

This threw me for a loop because there seems to be a somewhat slight sense of disdain for this concept on the part of women because they think that what is actually being said is that the mind being masculine means it has nothing to do with their femininity. Well... I wish to absolve that fear in saying this is absolutely not true. In the same way that men have a feminine side, women have a masculine side. This is internal not external meaning that within my being I can be completely abundant in Christ. My external existence is of course only feminine meaning that this feminine role of my body obviously cannot reproduce on its own. I must have the involvement of the masculine to be externally abundant (children.) But internally I reflect both the masculinity and femininity of God.

Now why exactly do we attribute masculinity to the mind and femininity to the soul? It is the role of the mind that mimics what we know of physical masculinity that creates this definition for us. The thoughts of the mind transcend the barriers of time, meaning that they can travel from the past, flow through the present and continue on into the future. They are not confined to the present. These thoughts of the mind mimic the offspring of man - his seed. The seed of man travels on in his body constantly generating anew and when resulting in fertility, carries on the name of his forefathers and bears resemblance in their future existence as his offspring. The physical functioning of masculinity in its potency can be seen reflected in the mind of an individual.

Why is the soul feminine? The soul and emotions can only be expressed in the present. What we know of femininity in the physical realm is that its power is in its presence. A woman forever carries her seed within her from the time of birth. Her fertility is existent in her and departs only when it has not resulted in offspring. When a woman procreates, she continues on housing the child in the present, even though the masculinity of the process has concluded. When the child is born the feminine again functions in the present to meet the immediate needs of a child. Her body is designed to meet the needs of the present. Man's body is not. What we know of the soul and emotions is that they can only be experienced in the present. You can think on past emotions and stir up those feelings anew but it was the thought that transcended time and brought the emotion to you. Emotions can only function in the present.

So what can we learn about the inter workings of the mind and soul? Thoughts without expression are impotent. Emotions without the penetration of the mind are chaotic. They cannot function independent of each in yielding purpose; but together they soar.

Most people do not have a problem with understanding femininity or why emotions and the soul are associated with her. But masculinity seems to be a touchy subject. May I remind you though... that if you are a woman who is easily angered by this concept but you have not bothered to think it through then you are not helping to support your position of femininity and emotion vs masculinity and mind.

Does God refer to the masculinity of the mind? He does indeed.

" The Lord your God will circumcise your hearts (lebab) and the hearts (lebab) of your descendants, so that you may love him with all your heart (lebab) and with all your soul (nephesh), and live." - Deut. 30:6

We do not circumcise femininity. Femininity is however penetrated and we learn much in the New Testament about the penetration of the soul (Heb. 4:12) and the circumcision of our minds. To circumcise femininity is to strip her functioning and pleasure from her being. This is never required by God. Femininity is meant to be expressed uninhibited but functions in the covering and protection of masculinity. If you would like to inhibit your femininity as it was created in the image of God, then by all means... circumcise yourself. As for me, I vote to start exercising the masculinity of my mind and the femininity of my soul and to truly LIVE!!!

An Open Door With the Children

Last winter our small church group "The Gathering" was awakened to the fact that less than 1/4 mile down the road from our very church, a public elementary school sat in need. Upon closer investigation we learned just how dire that need really was. Over 30% of the students in that school came from families that were in financial crisis and at times did not even have enough food for breakfast or dinner. Something moved in our hearts at hearing those statistics and a fire was lit to do something about this. We are a church longing to be "missional" and reach out to the world with God's message of salvation. What happens all too often is that we desire to see great and wondrous works that are far removed from our own backyard. Why this is, I am not sure. And so our small group of 20 began to conduct food drives for this elementary school.

The first day we showed up bearing gifts the staff was in tears at the generosity we demonstrated. The true extent of the need was seen as the pantry was shortly emptied of all we had provided. And so this became a regular event. We appealed to the hearts of our sister churches and the need was met time and time again. Later on in the school year we organized a luncheon to show the teachers how appreciative we were of their service to our children. I have never seen so much laughter and happiness and all we did was set up a nacho bar in the midst of their busy day. But it was enough.

This summer we have focused on collecting school supplies to offer to the elementary school as they begin their new school year. What I have noticed is that the hearts of people in the church are dying to give. But we always present them with such overwhelmingly large tasks to give to. We disguise it in magnificence for the Kingdom of God. But I tell you the truth, I have seen more heart felt greatness and magnificence this last year in our very own backyard than I ever saw in my 12 years on the mission field. You don't have to think big to do big things. All you have to do is meet the needs closest to home and that makes you a true missionary at heart.

It reminds we of the story in the Bible of the elderly widow - Luke 21: 1-4. What she gave was minute compared to the large gifts given by the rich. But Jesus looked at her gift and said, "I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put in more than all the others". We can dream of giving greatly to impact places on the other side of the world, but can you impact your immediate neighborhood? I encourage whoever happens to roll through my blog and read this to begin to search out opportunities within your church and within your neighborhood to bring Christ to them through meeting needs. You may think that the effort is too small but no effort is too small in the Kingdom of God. It is enough.

Wall-e

Today I went to see Wall-e with my 5 yr old. It was cuter than cute. I highly recommend it! There were also some extremely deep and profound messages in the movie. I don't want to spoil it for anyone so I will refrain from posting in the main body what I thought. If you get a chance to see it, feel free to relay your thoughts on what touched you in the movie.

Back from CA

I am back from California. Major jet lagged today but still surviving. I flew out for my mom's 60th birthday party. Since it was a surprise I couldn't really post on it... my mother reads my blog. So for those wondering why I haven't posted in over a week, that would be why.

It was a great surprise. She had no idea my little sister and I were flying out. We had to hide out a day until the party but due to a well organized and executed mission all went as planned and the covert operation went off without a hitch. My parents live in the middle of the desert in Indio, CA. Talk about hot!! The second day we were there the thermometer read 118 degrees... you've got to be kidding me! Everyone kept commenting about how dry the heat was. Coming from Colorado where it is so dry your knuckles crack when you flex I couldn't quite identify with the CA heat being dry. I would walk outside and immediately begin to sweat. Dry? I think not. I think the moisture may have been due to the incredible number of golf courses in the area. I wouldn't be surprised if there was a perpetual mist hanging over the valley from the amount of water it takes to keep all those greens so lush. Nothing against the Coachella valley but if we rationed the amount of water they were allowed to use on those lawns we may find the solution to world wide drought.

One morning I went out for a walk in the development we were staying in and noticed one person's lawn was rather dry and brittle. There was a notice on the door concerning their failure to comply with HoA standards of appearance. What if they were trying to be environmentally aware and conserve water??!! Forget it! Your HoA says you must use water! Do it!!! Ok, I'm done ranting... but they are living in the desert... perhaps coming to grips with that and not pretending it is a lush desert oasis may help out a bit. There is probably a legitimate desert oasis in Palm Springs but it's only about a mile circumference and yet the surrounding 30 miles is attempting to create the mirage of desert fauna as well. Oops... I was supposed to be done ranting.

I got to eat authentic Mexican food again - heavenly. I was able to observe CA night life again... oh boy do I sure NOT miss that. (Note to women everywhere: if you exceed the weight limit for a car booster seat you are not allowed to wear Hollywood apparel. Those clothes are only designed for women who have not come to grips with their womanly figure yet. And when it comes to boob exposure... more is not better. Women wonder why men stare at their chests and not at their faces when they talk... they will look at what you give them, duh!)

Well, it was fantastic seeing my family again. I had not seen my brother and sister in about 3 years and missed them terribly. It had only been six months since I saw my mother but due to the nature of the book I am writing about femininity I missed my mother terribly too. I wish we lived closer so I could just pick her brain for information without the huge cell phone bill we incur. I am now back home safe and sound and need to spend some much needed time with my own daughter. Time flies so fast and sooner than I know it she'll be trying to sneak out in skimpy clothes and my time for instilling morals in her will be gone. I'll post pictures of the trip soon. My little sister took all the pictures and so I'm waiting on her to get those downloaded.

Traffic Stopper!

Well, it appears that my life long aspiration to be a traffic stopper has finally come true. It was a smash success... even caused an accident. Ok... maybe it wasn't all that glamorous. I was walking this morning... and I came to the crosswalk. I stood there for a few seconds debating whether or not to push the walk signal or just pick my way across 6 lanes of traffic. I decided to be a law abiding citizen and hit the walk button instead. And so I'm standing there waiting for the signal to walk and lo and behold it is finally my turn to cross. As the walk signal flickers to give me the go ahead the first renegade car goes speeding through the red light...wonderful. Too bad he was going too fast to get a license plate number. Oh well.. I see all the cars stopped now and so I continue on with my trek across the street. Right as I get about halfway across the first 3 lanes I hear what every pedestrian fears to hear... screeching tires. I look to my left and notice all the cars still at a stop so it doesn't register right away what's going on... and then I see it. Coming up behind my first line of defense to the rest of traffic is this little pickup truck who obviously feels he is impervious to red lights and the car sitting in front of him as well. He smashes right into the car which of course propels her straight towards me. But the most shocking element of all was that I was unaware I could move that fast. I hopped off the street onto the opposite curb as the drama unfolded. After ensuring that no one wanted my information or number (which I was absolutely sure someone would want...after all... I stopped traffic!) I continued on with my walk. And so now, I can honestly say (because of course I did in fact push the little "walk" button) that I stopped traffic and caused an accident. I can now check that off of my "bucket" list.

Busy Little Bee Indeed...

Here's my update post to say that I'm busy busy this week. I was wrapping up another chapter for my book on Ms. Folly. I have to prepare a teaching on "teaching" for this coming Sunday so that's got me tied up too. And to top it all off my parents get into town tomorrow and I haven't dusted their room yet!! So I gotta go but I will post on something of some sort of relevance soon... I promise!

Love,
Debbie

Random...

Mustard Seed Plant

My Sunflowers

My Guitar Hero!

Bright-eyed, Bushy-haired Baby

Backyard Visitor

Mountain View from the Backyard (pretend the power lines aren't there... that's what I do.)